I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
