in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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