but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
