I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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