Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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