similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize