Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
