just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize