I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
