So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize