i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
