Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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