Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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