i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
home. puking in laundry basket.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So much rum. So many feels.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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