I need help removing her.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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