i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
