she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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