By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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