Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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