You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
