I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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