He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
