You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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