whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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