I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
