So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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