Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
