Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
