i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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