In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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