I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
