i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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