yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
