I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize