i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
