My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
