i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
