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Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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