gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
