I think im going to throw up on grandma
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
