dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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