Can Purell be used as lube?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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