; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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