super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't think brook has ever known best
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
