I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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