I CAN MOONWALK!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
