we have officially lost it.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
