My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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