It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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