so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
