I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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