my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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