i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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