You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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