She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
