Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the day after is always just damage control
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
