I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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