11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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