ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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