The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
