You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
