First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
