my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
