he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
