Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
