Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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