I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize