margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
