Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
