dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My vagina is officially offended.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
