Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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