Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
