Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
