I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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