I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
