on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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